I'm home. My body and my heart.

Assalamualaikum.. :) Now I'm home. Sampai 12hb hari tu. Sampai LCCT pagi dalam Subuh then pukul 8 malam baru book flight balikTerengganu. Masa baru sampai LCCT tu, mati kutu. Dah la 1st time pergi situ, lepas tu bila sampai semua kawan2 dah ada parents amik. Psiko habess. Hikhik.. pastu duk sorang2 dengan luggage dengan muka homeless. Lama kot nak tunggu sampai pukul 8 malam T_T Ingatkan sempat jumpa abang (kandung) sebab dia pun ada flight balik Malaysia hari tu tapi dia sampai pukul 7 malam so tak sempat..

Tapi sebelum tengah hari tu, he came. Er not my biological brother, ehem. Pastu rasa terharu ada orang datang sambut T_T Dalam 10 minit gak ah ternganga sebab dah setahun tak jumpa kan tapi stay cool sebab ni bukan sinetron kena ada zoom2 sambil buat mimik muka tacing dan sebagainya. Dipendekkan cerita, I was belanja-ed KFC, got a box of chocolate as a gift (thank you), he helped me to push the luggage trolley which is heavy like  a hippopotamus n  helped me to lift the luggage masa nak try timbang berat n masa nak scan before check in. Yeay takpayah membanting tulang angkat luggage sendiri :') LCCT is a small place so we have nothing much to do except eat, sit and stare at the sky or the ceiling. Makanya nampak seperti dua orang yang homeless. After check in baru dia balik.. lama tunggu. Terima kasih :)

To be honest I was done crying just now, and last night too. And I guess for every day onwards? I don't know. Coming home is a great relief. I love home very, very much. But Ayah is not getting any better and I felt sad watching him or listening to him talking with mak about how helpless he is now. Post-stroke + dementia and all that stuff. It has been for quite some time already. He often calls me with wrong name which is sad but I'm getting used to that so I guess I'm okay. When he's acting weird, I felt so worried. Tonight he asked mak to teach him syahadah and few other stuffs to recite before he sleep. I AM worried. He even done sorting out savings for me in case if he's gone or mak's gone.. I hope that's a normal thing that old people will do. I hope that I will be strong each day, so do mak and everyone else.

I have Allah that comforts me day and night, don't you worry.